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Strategies of Life. By Jaye Reid Commenced: March 27th, 2002 Rating: NC-17 Category: Angst, Romance J/D Spoilers: Tiny one from "Bad Moon Rising" and "17 People" but other than that, nothing specific. Disclaimer: The West Wing is the property of AS and WB. I have no affiliation with either unfortunately, and as you will see with this fic, I think they're probably glad of that! Summary: When Donna announces her future plans, she didn't factor Josh Lyman embarking on such a dramatic challenge to them. Author's notes: I never know where these come from - and this is no
exception! And for those reading the NC-17 version , this is my first real NC-17
story, so please be kind. ~*~*~ The soldiers marching home from battle. Well... not really. Sometimes the senior staff *felt* like soldiers and it *was* the end of the day for them, despite the fact, that for most people, the working day had finished several hours prior. And really, they weren't so much as marching home as heading to one of their favorite bars in Georgetown. Somewhere they could drink, unwind and try to forget about work for as long as it took for someone to mention it. Which usually wasn't very long. It was always the same formation. Josh and Sam would lead the squadron, discussing which Republican needed to be crushed next or which senator needed to be swayed in his thinking. CJ and Donna - the honorary senior staffer - discussing the latest human rights issues that needed addressing, and what they would do - if given the chance to. Toby followed silently behind them, their guard. Musing over the way Josh could be deep in rant over a recalcitrant congressman, yet in a split second bounce 180 degrees and explain to Donna why the US, UN or whomever, hadn't already stepped into the fore and implemented the actions she had just outlined. To which she would express how inconceivably wrong it was, before Josh would merely shrug and go back to his previous rant with Sam. They reached the Bar and like gentlemen, Josh and Sam held the door open for CJ and Donna to enter. They were rewarded with smiles for their manners, followed naturally by an ego-loaded remark from Josh. They held the door open for Toby which rewarding them with a gruff response about not looking like a woman and for them to get the hell inside. This was their usual game play. But on this night, after the battles of the day were over, after this march was taken and the journey to their destination ended - a new journey would be taken. ~*~*~ The table they commandeered wore the sticky glass rings from previous patrons - but it was something they ignored. This wasn't a place to worry as undoubtedly, given Josh's penchant for over exuberance, they would be added to in due course. The other patrons were the usual mix of politicos and pundants, the odd student captured in the aura that encircled bars such as this. Sam bought the first round, and soon they were melting into their seats, recharging their almost flat batteries. "Josh, I'm going to be in late tomorrow morning," Donna announced after the second round of drinks had been placed on the table. "Excuse me?" he asked, tilting his head, "shouldn't that have been ... 'please Josh, I need some time in the morning to do inane personal things instead of not bringing you coffee...' That's what you meant wasn't it?" "Not in your wildest dreams!" she scoffed. "Oh no. My *wildest* dreams include..." he began with a smirk. "If you *dare* say the words *equipment* or *school uniform* Josh - so help me!" she laughed before being interrupted by CJ flailing her arms around in front of them. CJ swallowed the mouthful of alcohol and winced before taking a breath. They were lucky she hadn't sprayed the drink across the table the moment Josh mentioned wildest dreams. "Will you cut it out," complained CJ. "The last thing I need to deal with is a sexual harassment suit between the pair of you." "Honestly CJ, I'd never have her... you know actually *charged*. I might make her sweat it out for a little while though," Josh joked. "Children," came Toby's voice of authority. "So?" Donna asked. "You have a meeting at nine a.m., and if you don't irritate Congresswoman Shillingworth in the first five minutes - it should go until at least eleven. And by then I will back dutifully at my desk - not bringing you coffee." "I suppose," came Josh's sullen reply. "Thank you o'master," Donna sassed with a smirk. "Can I at least ask what matter of Donna Moss national importance requires your attention?" Josh questioned. "Josh," Sam interrupted, then dropped his voice, "you know it may be of a... well, personal nature." "Oh." "Well, no its not like that Sam," Donna replied, "but thank you for pointing out to Josh the error of his ways." "Hey - my ways don't error," he complained mischievously before taking a mouthful of his beer. "So what's the story?" "My sister Lena had a baby girl this morning and I wanted to go and buy her something special. I wanted to wait until I knew whether she had a boy or a girl, that's why I haven't bought anything already," Donna beamed, finally a chance to share her news. "A girl," said Sam, "come on, the rest of the details." "Ah... 6lb. 10oz., at five am - or thereabouts. She's healthy, has fine blonde hair but short fingers. Lena says she'll have to learn something *other* than piano," laughed Donna. "And her extremely outlandish name is?" asked Josh over his drink. "It's our parents with the thing for names Josh. They're naming her Lauren Rose," she replied. "That's very pretty," stated Toby. "Toby? You just used the word pretty?" CJ commented. "Yes I did," he replied taking a swig from his glass. "I think it's a word we should weave into our next speech," Sam added brightly. "I really think it isn't," replied Toby dryly. "Hey Donna, isn't Magdalena younger than you?" Josh asked. His question was met swiftly with a cuff to the back of his head from CJ. "Ow! CJ, what'ja do that for?" he whined, as he rubbed the back of his head. "Because you deserved it," she replied. "What? Why?" She glanced at Donna, hating the fact she had to verbalize this in front of her. "Because I don't think Donna would want to be reminded that her younger sibling is doing something before her," she stated. "But CJ, you're fine about the fact your younger sister has three kids, you always have been?" added Toby. "Yes, but I'm fine with that because I'm not going to have any," CJ replied. "You don't know that CJ," said Sam. "Some guy could walk right in and sweep you..." "No Sam. I mean it's a conscious decision. One I made many, many years ago. I'm not going to have children because I don't want to have children, not because the opportunity hasn't risen or because I don't currently have someone to have them with. I play aunt better than I could ever play Mommy." "Oh, okay then." Sam replied with a nod. "Well I'm going to have at least one child," stated Donna. "And there will be more than enough love and laughter and happiness in his or her life." "And have you figured out who the luckless gomer will be?" Josh chuckled into his glass. "Who says I need a partner? It's expensive, but I think a clinic would do just fine," she rebuked. "What!" he spluttered. "I once thought about donating to one of those... er, um... clinics," offered Sam. Toby rolled his eyes. Josh nearly choked on his drink. "You what?" Sam took a deep breath. "There are many couples or individuals out there who would appreciate more men making such donations so they can fulfill their desire to have a family." "The spawn of Seaborn," Josh continued to laugh. "God, it sounds like a 'B' grade horror film!" "Well I think it's very noble Sam," Donna nodded before glaring at Josh. "What?" stammered Josh with an exasperated breath. "I agree with Donna," added CJ. "So," hypothesized Josh, "Donna could just walk into one of these places, collect her little *donation* and end up having Sam's offspring?" "Point one," Donna started, " I could do a whole lot worse, and point two, it doesn't work like that. You can't just walk in there and *collect* a donation. I'd never know whom it was from. Basically you go there, hand them the money, they do all the security and health checks - they make sure you're not a nutter. I might add I should pass with flying colors, considering I am of perfect health and I have security clearance to work at the White House. Once they do all that, you figure out what characteristics you're looking for and then off you go," she replied. Josh's brow creased. "Off you go? Donna..." "Josh. If you want me to describe the procedure - blow by blow - then I will, but..." "No! No... definitely no need. *Off you go* is a perfectly acceptable description," he replied, shifting uncomfortably. "Good." The rest of the staff sat quietly. This was one battle they didn't want to get into. "So how do you know all this, dare I ask? Researching already on government time? Surely I don't have to remind you that we have another three years in office and embarking on this little venture in the immediate future would make running my office a trifle difficult?" Josh lectured. "Josh, I barely have enough time to look after myself while I work for you," she replied. "So this is after the second term then?" he continued to question. "I didn't say that either," she replied smartly. "But..." "Listen, I haven't made an exact decision on when, but I don't plan on being too old to enjoy my child - that's all I'm saying," she replied firmly. "I could baby-sit from time to time for you," added CJ, deciding to weigh into the discussion. " I miss my nieces." "My cousin Tessa," said Sam entering the discussion again, " she's a single mom and lives in Washington now. Anyway, when I can, I take her son Matthew for the day. It gives her a break. I mean she loves him, I think she would stop breathing if anything happened to him, but you know... I enjoy it too." Toby leaned forward on the table. "My nephews... they were, and for the most part still are, absolute terrors... but my brother and his wife wouldn't be without them." "I want that," said Donna wistfully. "To hold a baby in my arms and know that it is my own precious gift. Something that will always be part of me..." "Yeah... and donor number 78972," Josh added before swallowing the remains of his drink. "I'm getting another, anyone else want one?" "I'm fine thank you," Donna replied politely, determined not to let it show that his comments had hurt. Even if Josh didn't notice, everyone else did. "Beer," said Sam. "I'll come with you," offered Toby as he nodded towards CJ. "No, I'm find Tobus," she replied. "I don't need the help," said Josh to Toby as he stood. "Yes you do my friend," came the reply. Josh shrugged and they headed for the bar. "He didn't mean it like it sounded," said CJ to Donna as they watched them walk to the bar. "Yes he did CJ," Donna replied, trying to smile, "but it's okay. Josh was just being... well Josh." "Sometimes I wish Josh would be Sam," CJ snorted, before turning to Sam. "I meant that as a compliment by the way." "I took it as one and I thank you," smiled Sam. Donna sighed. "I guess he's just feeling a bit left out of the conversation. I mean, we all have some story about children. Josh doesn't have anything other than his own memories and some of them are less than pleasant," Donna offered. "I know that," replied CJ, "but it doesn't mean he has to take that tone. Especially not with you." "He's just worried I'll abandon him and he'll have to train another assistant," Donna shrugged. "Why do you... how can you defend his actions the way you do?" Sam questioned. "He's been my friend for a hell of a long time, but I wouldn't let him get away with some of the stuff he tries to pull?" "Because love is blind," replied CJ quietly before smiling at Donna. Sam pondered for a moment and then nodded. "And if you let yourself really hear the words then..." "Hey! I thought you asked *me*." Donna interrupted. "He did, but we figured it out for ourselves," CJ replied, nudging Donna gently with her shoulder and chuckling. "Honestly, you two don't know..." Donna started before Josh interrupted her. "Okay Samuel, your beer," said Josh as he passed the drink to his friend as he and Toby rejoined them at the table. "And a large packet of crisps." "Tomato salsa flavored?" questioned CJ. "They didn't have any other?" added Sam with a slight frown. "Ohh... who would want any other kind," grinned Donna as she grabbed the packet, ripped it open down the seam and placed it in the middle of the table for them to share. "These are the best," she added as she munched on one. "Not with what we're drinking," CJ replied, glancing into her glass and then to Josh. "And speaking of drinking... Josh?" "It's just coke," he replied, trying to sound casual. Sam chuckled, "Two beers and he doesn't have to be told these days!" "Hey, I just didn't feel like another beer," he replied. "More like you didn't feel like having to ask Donna in the morning if you did or said anything you needed to apologize for and to explain exactly why you felt like crap," offered Toby. "I will admit, there may have been some slight reflection on that which helped me reach my decision," he stated quietly. They talked about work for a little longer and finished their drinks before deciding that they all really needed to go home. Sam was the first to leave, realizing he'd left a file on his desk that he needed first thing in the morning as he was heading to a meeting before going into the White House. Toby noticed a taxi unoccupied outside the bar as he glanced out the window. As he and CJ lived in the same general direction they decided to share it, hurrying out before someone else had the same idea. * Josh shoved his hands in his pockets and scuffed his shoes on the sidewalk as he and Donna entered the late night air. His forehead wore the thinking creases she knew so well. "What Josh?" she asked, knowing that he would only work himself up if he didn't start to verbalize his thoughts. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before shrugging. "So, you think it's gonna rain?" he asked, glancing up at the sky as they started to walk. "I doubt it Josh. There's not a cloud in the sky," Donna chuckled. "Well you never know, storms just like... blow up from no where sometimes," he shrugged. "Josh, you've been quite since..." "What were you guys talking about when Toby and I went to the bar?" he asked. "Oh... nothing much," she replied; now wondering why he wanted to know. Afraid he'd missed out on some gossip? "Toby told me I was an inconsiderate bastard and he had no idea why the hell you put up with me," Josh continued, his eyes downcast, watching his feet on the pavement. "Actually, the conversations may have been similar," Donna sighed, at least now she knew why Toby had accompanied him to the bar. He made her miss her older brothers less sometimes. He had slotted in there and seemed to champion her cause whenever he felt it was needed. "It's just... you'd really want to have a baby that way?" he asked, bouncing around in front of her. Donna stopped. "If I had to... if it was my only option, then yes. I'm a modern, independent woman. And I want to be a mother." "And you should be you know, Donna. You are just such an amazingly, incredible woman and you are so damn good at everything you do." "Josh..." "I was a jerk tonight Donna," he stated as he fell in beside her and they started walking again. "Josh, don't worry about it. You were just being..." "Yeah *me*. And more often than not that means jerk. I didn't need Toby to point it out, I already knew. But I couldn't stop myself. I was just so..." "Pissed to think you'd have to learn to yell at someone else if I left the White House?" she smirked. "No... jealous that one day you could have a baby that wasn't mine." Their feet stopped. "Josh?" "Yeah, I know. Surprised me too when I figured it out," he shrugged. "Josh what do you mean?" she stammered. "I think I mean I want you to have *my* baby. Okay, so I'm not good looking like Sam, and there are some other genetic traits that any kid that is part me might inherit that you may not be too wild about... but hey, at least you've had practice at dealing with them. And just think..." "Josh, this is all very sweet, and would save me a considerable amount of money that I could put towards the child's future, but have you really..." "Oh I'd have rules Donna. And my rules would seriously need to be followed and not mocked." he replied. "Oh yes?" she questioned crossing her arms in front of her. "You making rules this should be good. Let's see I suppose I would have to bring you coffee all the while I still worked for you. I guess you'd expect me to be subservient to you all the time for the privilege of having your child, I'm sure you'd expect bowing to be included and what... calling you Sir? I also guess you would want full naming rights in fear that I would give the child a name that wouldn't befit a part Lyman." "Donna! Christ, take that all back! Please tell me you take all that back and you don't mean it? Do you really think that little of me to believe I would make you... God take it back now Donna!" "Okay... okay," she repeated softly, seeing the hurt in his eyes. "I'm sorry... it's just, well it's just that you've spent most of the night being a total snarky bastard to me. I don't know what to expect at the moment because you're now acting like someone I don't see very often and I don't want to get lost in the euphoria of your latest revelation because I don't know how long it will be until you turn back to the other guy again." "You know you should try and breathe whilst talking sometimes Donna. It helps," Josh replied, his dimples making a fleeting appearance - all was forgiven. "Josh, please..." "Look, I won't promise that guy is gone forever, because we both know me better than that, but he's gone for tonight. I promise, I left him getting drunk back at the Bar," he smiled. "Believe me?" "Yes." "Okay, then," he nodded and they started walking again. "So, what are your rules Joshua?" she asked cautiously. "Well, first I wouldn't be happy if you decided to move to the other side of the country. I mean absentee parenting is obviously rife through the Beltway. So many guys here end up watching their kid's lives through the photo they update on their desks rather than watching it first hand. I wouldn't want that. I would want to be able to spend time with our child, and it would make it all the worse if you were living in California or somewhere like that. Which I guess leads me to the point that I would want to be allowed to play Dad when it was okay with you. I don't think I'll ever have the opportunity any other time, and although I'd probably suck at it, I'd like to try. And if my Mom... well she's always wanted grandchildren, so if it was okay with you, well... you know, I'd like her to be able to visit and stuff. And as for names... well you did say it was your parents who liked non traditional names, not you... but I'd like to be able to offer suggestions towards your final decision." "Josh, you're... you're *serious*?" she said slowly, letting all the words swirling in her head sink in. "Yes, I don't think I've been *this* serious about anything since... well I'm not sure I can compare it to anything else," he replied. "And... if we did this Josh, what makes you think that I wouldn't want you to be around us? How could you think I would consider moving to the other side of the country?" she said stopping. "You know I can be a moody son-of-a-bitch. The thought of escaping, well I couldn't put up with it the way you do," he offered. "If we did this, I would want you around," she replied seriously. "I mean I will probably go back to University if I can, study part-time." "I'd want to be more than a baby-sitter, Donna. That's what *aunt* CJ is for," he nodded back down the street and chuckled. "If you... if we... well, I would want to be there." "Josh... you um, realize that if we... err... *did* this, it would have to be the old-fashioned way?" she smirked, wondering if he'd still be interested. "Can we practice?" Josh asked cheekily before wrapping his arms around Donna quickly and planting his lips firmly on hers. There was nothing tentative about the kiss, and as he attempted to deepen it, he was pleasantly surprised there was no sudden pain emanating from the back of his head *or* groin region. They stood wrapped around each other on the sidewalk, the glow of a nearby streetlight illuminating them to anyone passing by. It wasn't until a car horn sounded as it passed, that they broke apart. "Was that... um..." "Josh, you kissed me." "Ah, yeah... you, I believe you kissed me back so I really think that contemplating serious injury to me at this point would..." "Josh, I... you... why did you kiss me?" "I could ask why you kissed me back?" he grinned. "Josh," she complained with a similar grin. "Donna, you know I wouldn't mind it if you thought about us sharing a place if we did this. You know, it would make sense... it would save money on rent and I could be on hand whenever you needed me to..." "Josh..." "Look it would make sense Donna," he said bouncing on the balls of his feet. "You could go to a University here and we..." "Josh?" "Yes?" "How did we get here?" Josh looked around and realized they were standing outside his apartment building. "I'm not too sure," he chuckled, continuing to bounce his nervous energy around her. "I guess my feet are used to taking my drunken body home and they just knew the way." "But you're not drunk and they usually know the way to *my* apartment!" she laughed. "Well perhaps they just know how to find you, because you're right here with me," he motioned. "That I am Joshua." "Donna, would you like to come in and..." "Practice?" "Um... well I wasn't going to say that because I don't want to risk losing those parts of my body that would be required for such an activity, but since *you* mentioned it, well... then... I was figuring it might be a good thing?" "Josh, you've spent 14 to 16 hour days in the office all this week, not to mention a couple of beers in the past two hours, are you... are you *capable* of following through with this?" Donna queried. "Honestly?" "Of course." "I don't know. Please believe me if I prove incapable... the intent is there Donna." "It'll be okay," she smiled. "You'll pay out on me forever though, won't you?" he replied cautiously. "Of most definitely," she grinned. "I'd better make sure I get this right then," he replied. "Josh," she breathed as she reached out for his hand. "What are we doing?" "Something we should have done a long time ago," he replied with a grin as he led her into the building. ~*~ "Do you want a drink or something?" Josh asked as he closed the door behind them "No thanks...I'm good," she replied as she unbuttoned her coat slowly, before removing it and placing it on the stand near his door. She levered her shoes off her stockinged feet, leaving them beside a pair of runners gathering dust under the coat rack. "I think *I* need a drink," Josh mumbled, tossing his coat over the arm of the sofa before heading for the kitchen. "No, I don't think you do," she called as she turned from her coat and faced him. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea... maybe I should just call a taxi and go?" "No! No, please don't," Josh, replied in a panicked rush as he crossed the room to her. He took one of her hands and gently rubbed his thumb across the back of it. "Unless you've changed *your* mind?" "No I haven't. Have you?" "I've wanted this moment for a long time," he replied with a nervous smile. "Me too," Donna smiled back. "But I feel... I mean it's not like this in the movies is it? When two people have wanted to be together like this... they just seem to be so natural. It's so perfect, so choreographed, so..." "So not what it's really like?" added Josh. "Yes," she nodded. "Yes, well that's because it *is* choreographed. Someone has written it and told them what to do and when. We," he added, as he began to lead her to his bedroom, "have absolutely no idea where this is going or whether it's going to have a *happily-ever-after* ending. That's what makes it so damn nerve-racking - we're scared of stuffing it up." "That was very insightful Joshua," Donna smiled. "It was," he smirked. "And now we're in your bedroom." "Yes we are." He replied as he flicked on the light and then set the dimmer switch down low. "And you couldn't have at least *made* your bed this morning Josh?" she chuckled as she stepped over to his bed and tugged at the comforter to straighten it. "When I raced out of here this morning, I wasn't expecting to be doing *this* tonight," he replied with a grin. It's now or never thought Donna, as she took a deep breath and reached back to unzip her dress. She pulled her arms through the sleeves and held it with one arm across her chest. Josh raked a hand through his already chaotic hair and glanced out the window at the blackened sky. "I think you're having second thoughts," Donna stated quietly. "No, I'm thinking there's gotta be a way I can lock us in here forever so no one would notice," he replied as he turned back to her. "I don't think there is," she replied as she let go of her dress and watched it pool on the floor at her feet. "Now I'm thinking I'm gonna have to sit down before I faint," he stammered at the sight of her clad in only her underwear. "Not the prettiest I own," she said looking down at herself before hooking her fingers under the top of her pantyhose, shimmering out of them and discarding them with her dress. "But, like you, I wasn't expecting to be doing *this* tonight when I got dressed this morning." "Donna you want to do this don't you?" he said as he moved over to her. Josh tentatively reached out and gently ran his hands down her arms. "You're not just doing this because... oh I don't know..." "Josh, when have you known me to do anything I don't really want to?" "I don't know." "Well I know," she replied leaning forward and gently kissing his lips. "I'm not very good at this," he muttered. "What, sex?" "Ohh no. I'm good at sex, very good... *extremely* good at sex," he grinned as she rolled her eyes. "It's... it's the making love to a woman I'm crazy about that scares me witless. " "So, how many times have you *made love* to a woman?" she asked softly as she undid his tie and started working on the buttons of his shirt. "I'm not sure I have," he replied quietly as he watched her nimble fingers make quick work of the shirt buttons before working her way to the sleeve cuffs. "Oh God, that sounds like such a line, doesn't it!" "And such a bad one!" she laughed. "So, you're saying you're a virgin at this?" "Donnnnnaaa..." "I promise I'll be gentle," she whispered cheekily as she leant forward and pressed another tender kiss to his lips. All of a sudden this didn't feel so strange. "It's just... I don't want to disappoint you." Vulnerable was a personality trait she rarely saw. The night she took him to the ER to have his hand dealt with being the most prominent appearance, and a couple of fleeting encounters while he was still in the early stages of recovery from that. "Joshua Lyman, you could never disappoint me. Not unless you decided to defect to the Republican par..." "Donna! How could you mention the enemy at a time like this when you are standing before me barely wearing anything and I'm standing here..." "In far too many clothes," she laughed. "Oh and Donna Moss has a cliché all of her own!" "Thank you," she smirked. "I guess we could always invite Sam over..." "What!" "You know, he's the speech writer... I'm sure he could come up with some non clichés for us." "Ohhh..." "What did you think I... ohhh.... Josh, I don't have fantasies about Sam," she said shaking her head and sliding his dress shirt off his shoulders and on to the floor. "No?" "No, of course not. Only you," she grinned. "And am I good at this in your fantasies?" he smirked, running his hands through her hair. "I can't say. We never get that far." "That's disappointing. Want to tell me about them?" he continued to smirk. "Well... there was this particular one," she began as she ran her hands beneath his undershirt, "where you and I are in your office..." "My office?" he squeaked as she traced a finger around his left nipple before finding the smooth line of the scar that ran down his chest. "Yes, and we were getting rather amorous... my shirt was all unbuttoned and my skirt was hitched up around my waist, you had me up against your desk and..." "And?" "And that's where it stops," she shrugged. "Why would it stop there?" "Probably has something to do with the fact that Leo bursts through the door at that point," she deadpanned. "Ohhhh... yeah, well... that would explain it. Let me assure you that Leo will not be bursting through any doors tonight," he nodded. "Glad to hear it," she replied, as she lifted his undershirt over his head. "Because I have to tell you, having him burst into a room at that point can be very frustrating." "Yes." "I still say you have too many clothes on Josh," she stated as she added his undershirt to the pile of discarded clothing on the floor. "I have, haven't I?" he chuckled. "Yes." "Okay, how about I..." he started reaching for his belt. "Let me," she replied. Josh levered his shoes off as Donna undid his belt and the top button on his pants. "Hang on a minute," he said, stopping her as he bent down and pulled his socks off, tossing them across the room. "I don't want to look like a dork in nothing but my socks." "Really?" she smirked again as she unzipped the fly and pushed his trousers off his hips. They crumpled at his feet, and he stepped out of them, kicking them towards the pile of her clothes. "Are you insinuating that I'm going to look like a dork anyway?" he retaliated brushing his hand across her bare stomach. She jumped back and laughed. "Donna? Are you ticklish?" "No." "Are you lying?" "Why would I..." Josh took a step towards her and grinned. "Okay!" she squealed. "Yes I am a little bit." "Only a little bit?" he inched closer, laughter playing across his face. "Yes, I might be a..." Donna started before another squeal escaped her as Josh grabbed her around the waist and spun her around on the bed. They lay there in each other's arms, laughing for a moment - then silence. "Are you always such a chatterbox when you do this?" he asked. "Hey, you're talking as much as I am," she challenged. "I know - I like to talk," he replied. "You like the sound of your own voice and you think I didn't know that already?" she laughed. "No... I mean... like now... you know..." "And I'd expect *this* to be any different?" she asked kissing him. "No, probably not," he replied when she let him speak again. "I find it kind of comforting actually," she replied. "Yeah?" "Yes, we're being us. We haven't morphed into people we're not." "Morphed?" "Yes, morphed. Don't tell me you're not familiar with the term. I remember catching you watching that cartoon when you were recuperating after Rosslyn," she replied, running a finger down the length of the scar on his chest. "Okay, so I might be familiar with the term," he replied tilting his head from side to side. "Josh... are you going tickle me again?" Donna asked, catching her breath. "I'd prefer to kiss you again," he replied looking down at her, now lying half underneath his body. "I'd prefer that too," she replied as he dipped his head and met her lips. The encounter began soft and tentative, but built in force before their tongues staged a take-over of the others and began a fully-fledged assault. The battle waged until they felt the need to allow oxygen back into their lungs. "Donna, I never know how to get these things..." he started as he ran his fingers under the strap of her bra, nudging it off her shoulder. "Two little clips at the back," she replied breathlessly as she pushed her body upwards into him so he could reach behind her. "Okay," he replied, running his hand around her waist and finding the clip. "One... one... okay, twwwooooo," he added as the fabric now slackened. Donna reached between them and hooked the bra off her other shoulder before pulling it from her and dropping over the side of the bed. Her incandescent skin tingled as her now bare breasts touched his chest. "You still have your boxers on," she commented. The twitching of his erection pressing into her through them was driving her to distraction. "Yes, and you still have yours on too," he replied, raising an eyebrow as he reached down and quickly disposed of his satin shorts. "I'm not wearing boxers Josh," she joked and then inhaled deeply as she felt the moisture from his penis touch her thigh. "Pity," he replied, "I think they'd be a hell of a lot easier to remove." "Rip them." "Excuse me?" She pulled herself up to him and whispered seductively in his ear, "You heard me... my underwear... *rip* them." Whether it was her words or her tone, she couldn't be sure, but an almost involuntary moan escaped from within Josh. "You sure?" "Would I say it if I weren't?" Josh sat back on his knees, a leg either side of her thighs before running his hands down her body to her hip. He placed a hand either of one of the side seams and pulled hard. The fabric gave way and he gave her one of his trademark 'I'm so da man' dimpled smiles before reaching for the other seam and repeating the process. "I'll buy you a whole new set," he whispered as he tossed the remnants on the floor and lowered himself back down to her, gently placing one knee between hers. "You are absolutely beautiful, you know that don't you?" he added, running his hands down her face and to her breast. "Josh, I need you to... now, please..." "But I haven't, you don't want me to...?" he questioned as he began to kiss his way down her abdomen. "No, not this time," she replied, trying to breathe and speak and absorb all the sensations that were overwhelming her body. "Four years of verbal foreplay has been plenty." Without further discussion, Josh kissed his way back up her stomach to her mouth. She gasped as he kneaded her nipples gently, before his tongue strayed from her mouth to them. Lavishing each with an equal amount of attention as his hands ran tantalizingly down her body, circling her navel before settling lower. Letting his hand drift down between her thighs, he found she was more than capable of allowing him entry. Josh offered up a prayer thanking whoever had been watching over him at Rosslyn. For allowing him to live, giving him the chance to hold Donna in his arms now - to love her. He moved her leg slightly to give himself more access before gently nudging inside her. Donna whimpered at this latest sensation, her breathing now in low, rapid gasps. She moved her leg out of the way further, protectively encasing him, her ankles locked together behind his knees. He moved slowly at first, trying to memorize the way it felt to be inside her. He didn't think he was going to last very long but he didn't want it to be over before they had barely started. "Josh, do you realize I'm not on anything?" she whispered. He let himself sink deep inside her before stopping. "You're... not?" "No, I'm not," she replied, biting her bottom lip. He ran his fingers though her long blonde hair. "In Manchester, when we were all having that big discussion about... you were saying how much you totally agreed with the advances in medical technology that meant women had a choice in controlling..." "And if you remember when CJ and I were talking about personal experiences with guys and the whole trust debate and discussion on condoms..." "I covered my ears and declared it was all too much information listening to you and CJ discuss those... *things*, and I went to the bar, didn't I?" Josh replied, resting his head on her shoulder. "Yes. If you'd stayed, you'd have heard the pill makes me sick," she replied. "Donna, I'm not wearing a condom." She focused on her pelvic muscles and squeezed him. "Yes I noticed. You wanted to practice... I figured this was a full dress rehearsal. But then I thought... well maybe he just assumes..." "I should learn never to assume anything with you," he replied, with a small smile. "You should, yes." "Donna... we could be doing more than just practicing here." "We could." "And... do you, well... do you have a problem with that?" he asked. "Do you?" she questioned; afraid to let herself hope for the answer she wanted to hear. "I could always, you know... get out before I..." "You want to do that?" "No... not really. I hate that," he replied, lifting his head up to look at her face. "I hate it too. Anyway, some of your guys may have already escaped and could be storming the front as we speak?" she replied. "Huh?" "Did you know Josh, that even in a very small amount of pre-ejac..." "Please Donna, tell me you weren't just about to quote the statistical details of... well... you know..." Donna laughed. "You can be such a..." Josh ran a hand down her side, dancing his fingertips along her ribcage. "Okay!" she said with a shrill squeal. "What can I be?" he asked with a smirk. "Anything you want," she laughed back. "Donna, you know you haven't answered my question. You still haven't told me if you're okay with this?" he asked again. "Yes... yes, I'm okay with this. But please, will you move before I explode?" " 'kay. So if we... God, we could be *really* be doing this... right now. Tonight." "Yes," she gasped as he began to move inside her again. "You know, this isn't how I thought it would be." "What did you think?" he asked nibbling at her earlobe. "Well... I thought you'd at least tell me you loved me when we did this." "You want me to tell you?" he whispered. "Not if you don't mean it," she replied. Josh kissed the tip of her nose. "I just didn't know whether this would be an appropriate time." "Josh - part of *you* is inside *me* and we're... and you didn't think it would be an appropriate time?" she smiled, raising her eyebrows. "I didn't want you to think I was saying it just *because* part of me..." "I wouldn't think that," she interrupted. "You wouldn't?" "No." "Donna... I do love you." She reached out and ran her fingers up through his hair, "I love you too." "Donna, I really want this, honestly. You and me." "I know." ~*~ Propping a little higher he managed to keep his rhythm whilst manipulating his thumb across the sensitive nerves as he watched an array of expressions dance across her face. He could feel the pressure increase within his own body; he didn't know how much longer he could last. "Donna?" spoken in such a low rasping tone, he barely recognized as his own. There was no verbal response other than the continual guttural moan emanating from deep inside her. "Donna? Open your eyes beautiful... you have to... I want you to see us... all of this... Donna?" She opened her eyes and stared straight into his. An orb of electricity passed between them and he felt her muscles tense slightly before she began rocking forcibly into him, her pace quickened with each thrust. "Oh hell Donna... geez I don't know... how much... Donna..." Suddenly she threw herself back onto the pillows, gasping and panting as she grabbed at the hand that had been manipulating her and laced her fingers through his as they rocked in unison. She continued to gasp softly has he thrust deep inside her, the task now more difficult as her orgasm contracted hard around him. He balanced his weight back on his knees as he took her other hand and thread his fingers though it as well, propping himself up against her hands as he watched her roll her head from side to side as the friction between them continued to tease her now oversensitive body. "Donna," he began, his breathing even more ragged now, "do you still want me to... Donna, I'm gonna... real soon... oh God Donna... tell me this is what you want... please?" She ran her tongue across her dry lips, "Josh... please... I want you... inside me... now... please Josh." "Okay, okay... Donna... I'm... I..." The rest became an incoherent jumble of words and sounds and non-words that escaped his brain as his climax exploded deep with her. Light burst around his eyes and his comprehension of all things real took on a nebulous haze. When he thought he had given her every ounce of life within him, he rested his head down on her chest. He wasn't sure how long he stayed that way, but he gradually felt his knees weaken and he gently lowered himself prone with her body, so this his cheek now rested against her shoulder. ~*~ "That was..." "Yeah," Josh breathed. "We just... and it was..." "Exquisite." "Exquisite?" "760, remember?" he smiled. "Of course," Donna nodded. "I'm thinking we might be good at this," he stated, kissing her shoulder. "You're able to think?" she chuckled. "Well..." "Josh?" "Yes?" "I can't breathe..." Josh realized that the full weight of his body was on hers, and while he enjoyed the contact, it didn't leave Donna much chance for important things... like breathing. "Geez Donna, why didn't you say something sooner?" he replied as he rolled onto his side, taking her with him. "I had to regain my powers of speech," she grinned. "So, do you think we might have... you know, just before, done something that is going to be... life changing... for both of us?" Josh asked, as he slid his arm under Donna's head. "Oh I think all of this is fairly life changing," she replied. "Donna... you know what I mean..." "So instead of bathing in the afterglow... we should discuss the chances of whether or not you impregnated me?" she mused, trying to keep a straight face. "Donna... do you have to sound so... clinical about it?" Josh looked up and saw the smile dancing in her eyes. "I'm sure you'd have the stats," he replied. "Well I did do all that research on teen pregnancies for you Josh." "Somehow I don't think you'll qualify as a teen!" "Lucky for you," she laughed out loud, " because I think you'd be in a whole heap of trouble if I was!" "You're my assistant Donna, who says I won't be anyway?" "Well, if it were to become a thing, at least it might only be *one* thing, not two." "Huh?" "The *first* thing would be we were sleeping together, the *second* that you got me 'in the family way.' If we did it all tonight, it would only be one thing, not two." "Well *there's* a positive spin on it for CJ," he deadpanned. "I'll say," she sniggered "We could always make it legal," Josh shrugged. "Why would we want to do that?" "Well... it sounded like a good idea in my head," he offered. "Josh... only a few hours ago you were joking about, and I quote "who the luckless gomer" would be. And *since* then, you have volunteered to *be* said gomer and now you're talking about being the *permanent* gomer in my life?" "You know, it's at this point I realize how much I regret coining the term *gomer* in relation to the guys you've dated previously." "Josh I'm not even dating anyone *currently* so..." "You're dating me..." "No, I just had the most increditable mind blowing..." "Don't say sex Donna. Please, this is more than that to me," he interrupted. She smiled, leaned forward and kissed him. "Cliché number what? Yes, I understand it's more than that... but date? We haven't done that yet." "What about tonight?" he asked as he lifted her up whilst struggling to get the comforter from underneath them. She laughed out loud as she helped him pull the covers over their exhausted bodies. "You, me, Sam, CJ and Toby - all rung out after a hell of a week at the White House, does *not* constitute a date." "Does the fact I love you and I should have told you years ago count for anything?" he asked, tentatively. A small satisfied smile escaped her lips. "Yes it does." "Will you stay tonight, please?" he asked, cautiously. She nestled into his arms, "I'd like that." "I'd like that too," he replied closing his eyes. "Josh?" "Hmm?" "Thank you for the crisps." "The crisps?" "Tomato-salsa flavored - at the Bar tonight, thank you." "They're your favorite," he mumbled, the soporific effects of their activities beginning to take hold. "I know... but more importantly, you knew." "I just..." he tightened his arm around her; he wasn't sure what he wanted to say. "Go to sleep Josh." "Goodnight Donna," he replied, kissing the top of her head. "Night." They lay there, listening to each other breathing. "Donna?" "Yes Josh?" " 'you think we made a baby tonight?" "I don't know... maybe." "Yeah," he sighed contentedly, "maybe...." "Goodnight Joshua."
The end.
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